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♪ Komm, süsser Tod

It was a dark, gloomy day outside. Although he couldn’t see through the curtains, he guessed the sun was nowhere to be found. A normal morning started: cars were roaring as they always did, children going to school could be heard from his flat, and some birds glided in front of his window — well, correctly speaking one of them crashed into the window.

As the sun slowly came up, Kaworu groaned from below the white sheets. He stretched himself out without moving much, thinking about having breakfast. His red eyes opened as soon as he noticed that the sun was out and had heated up his room. During his life at the palace, he couldn’t afford to sleep naked as there would always be someone watching over him at night and someone else waiting for him to wake up with clothes and a steamy tea in hand. Taking his own sweet time, he raised from the bed and, covering himself with the sheets, eventually reached the closet and looked for clothes. The classic gray tee, white shirt, waist-up jeans look was getting old. He decided to go with a younger, cooler style: leather jacket, black, tight jeans, a brand new pair of dark Dr Martens and a Sonic Youth t-shirt.

He liked his coffee as he liked his partners: dark, short and extra sweet. He wasn’t the tea kind, and since he no longer depended on other people he swore to never drink tea again. Served with a large portion of Boston cream pie, it was obvious why breakfast was his favourite part of the day. Kaworu turned on the television, and regretted this decision immediately. News were as depressing as ever — even as isolated from real life as he lived as a prince, he knew a lot of things weren’t right in his country. Killings, poverty, widespread diseases, political issues, and tons of sports-related news no one cared about. Society was becoming stupid, he sighed before switching the TV off, without giving it more thought.

After doing the dishes, he left his house. He tuned his favourite song on his iPod and started walking onwards the street. The day before he had received a letter from the school of classic music of his neighbourhood: he had been accepted, and he started next Monday. Still, he wanted to go there so he could take the correct bus, calculate how long the trip was, etc. Basically, he had to learn the right road so he didn’t have to go all trial-and-error on Monday. He stopped in front of the bus stop and leant on his right side, staring at the screen that showed buses, tours, schedules and waiting times.

And suddenly, his eyes met a pair of eyes he had seen before. Who was that person? He gave it two seconds of thought and then realized that (of course) he remembered him. Shinji. Two weeks had passed but there was no way he could forget those eyes. Still, he would never approach him — why would a sane person do that? He had scared the hell out of him, made him nervous and, as if that wasn’t enough, he had gone too far with his flirty conversation without noticing it. Fuck. He really wanted to get near him but even if he had tried he knew he couldn’t do it. Did Shinji remember him, though?


"Don’t you think so?"

"…Sorry. What?"

Shinji wasn’t paying attention to his friends’ conversation. He was busy trying to think about something that wasn’t that pale boy. "I’m sure he thinks I’m such an idiot. But does it really matter? He doesn’t know me after all…"

"SHINJI, man!"

"Could you at least try to look like you’re listening to us?"

"Sorry…Repeat please. I’ll pay attention this time"

"You’re such a pain in the ass, you know? We were talking about…"


Both of his friends stopped talking. They looked confused.


"Hey, handsome, have you got some spare time?"

WHAT WAS THAT? Shinji almost fell of his chair. The boy he’d been thinking about was right beside him and he was ‘flirting?’ 

Shinji couldn’t help but to laugh, it was unbelievable. He was going to say something but then, the boy started to talk again.

“The name’s Kaworu, by the way. Shall we go outside?” 

"W-What? Are you serious???"

He looked for help, but his friends were too busy dying from laughter. “Thank you guys.” 


"Oh no! It’s already this late?" Thanks god. They were going to help him. "We’re going home. You have fun, okay Shinji?"

"Yes we shou- wait what?"

And they left. They didn’t even clean the table, and run away. He didn’t know what to say. Why was this happening to him? Who was this Kaworu guy? 

"Uhh, look. I’m so sorry and I apologize for my stupid friends. But I should go home too…"

"Ah, yes. Perfect", murmured Kaworu while sitting in the sofa across the table. "Thought that your noisy friends were never going to leave. Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything harmful to you." He raised an eyebrow and examined the grey, kind of blue-ish eyes of the boy in front of him. He really wanted to pick on this guy. He had been thinking about that for, how much had it been, an hour? And now was the time to take advantage of the situation. Smiling, he sofly added "Unless you want to, of course." and as soon as he saw him choking he let out a soft laugh.

"Shinji, was it? Okay, sorry. I wanted to pick on you a little. It’s just a joke, I swear. Let’s not get carried away, hun. Why were you staring at me before?" 

"I… I… Sorry…" 

Kaworu saw Shinji trembling, avoiding eye contact and pale as if he had seen a ghost. “Crap, I may have exceeded myself.” He shook his head while one of his hands reached his white hair, shaking it softly. His smile was transforming into a straight, almost imperceptible line"Listen, I’m the one who’s sorry. You clearly don’t know me at all so I was worried about absolutely nothing. And I troubled you, made you uncomfortable… I even made your friends flee. I’m not sorry about that, though, since they’re very nosy." Shinji sighed and started to smile, and that made Kaworu smile back. "You’re really delicate, like glass. Sorry once again; I didn’t mean to be so disrespectful, I swear. I’m leaving you alone. It was really nice meeting you.”

He left Starbucks with a smile on and a mixed feeling between happiness, calm and utter gloominess. He couldn’t deny he felt kind of gutted, but he was to blame: why did he act as such a jerk? Why did he put off every possibility of become Shinji’s friend, all because he couldn’t stop himself from being excessively close to a stranger? Kaworu spent the rest of the time until he reached his new home trying to remember the last time he had met someone as… interesting as Shinji. 

"I hope I can see him again soon."


► in other words, i love you.

"Expensive. So expensive." Shinji complained to himself.

After class, his friends dragged him -who was exhausted, and just wanted to go home and lay on the couch for hours- to the arcade next to their school. It wasn’t that bad though, he had to admit. Unfortunately, it didn’t end there. Now they wanted to go to a coffee shop. “But I barely have any money left! Let’s do it another day.” he said, trying to convince them. But it was useless since they’d already made up their minds "We’ll go somewhere cheap, don’t worry". And there they were, at the starbucks. 

"This sure is cheap."

"Don’t be like that! We’ll treat you, okay?"

No. It’s fine.”

Well, he didn’t want to let them pay for him, even if he could hardly pay for a coffee. He took a look inside his wallet and found a few coins. Maybe he could pay for a milkdrop or two with that.

Then he saw a paper popping out of one of the pockets 'since when do I have this here'.
He took it, and it happened to be a 1000 yen note attached to a paper scrap with a “Who’s the best? Misato is the best. Have fun~” written on it. She could be bossy, and irresponsable, but Misato was so cool sometimes.

They went straight to the queue and he ordered a coffee and a muffin. 

When they were leaving the queue to take sit, Shinji’s glare met another boy’s eyes. He was weird. Gray hair, red eyes…it was hard to find someone with those. He was also way too pale, and slender, but he didn’t look sick at all. Shinji realized that he’d been staring at the boy for a while, and that he was probably making him feel uncomfortable.

"…Excuse me." 

"Hey! Shinji! What are you doing? Come here."

He nodded, and rushed to sit with his friends.

"Did you know that guy?"

"Um? Oh…no, I just…nevermind."


He’d been discovered. He was sure of it. And that couldn’t be a possibility if he wanted to continue his life far from his overprotective parents. Kaworu took a seat at the counter, drank his coffee and made small talk with the waitress until he got bored. He found out that it wasn’t very difficult to get a job there. Maybe that could cover his personal expenses along with uni’s enrollment.

All he could think about, though, was that boy who ordered the exact same thing he wanted to order. Who was him? Why was he staring at him? Well, ok, maybe the white hair didn’t help on being unnoticed. Still, why did he apologize? It wasn’t like he was bothered by the fact that a (somewhat pretty) little boy stared at him. How could someone get bothered by that, actually?

"Easy now, you idiot", he thought. How long had he been daydreaming? He desperately searched the room for his new friend. That little black-haired boy was still sitting there, with those loud friends of his. Kaworu could almost feel how the restlessness was growing inside of his chest—he was getting so tired of waiting. It had been a long, long day, and some more coffee, his couch and his huge TV was all he needed to get moving.

"Hey, handsome, have you got some spare time?", his voice being almost a whisper, while he passed an arm over the shoulder of the boy. However, it was clear it wouldn’t be that easy. The general reaction was the one he expected: gasps, some little, nervous laughing and the classic blushing. “The name’s Kaworu, by the way. Shall we go outside?” was the best thing he could bring out with his brightest smile on.

► in other words, i love you.

"Ahhh, finally."

Kaworu dropped his luggage right in front of the door of his white, tiny, recently rented flat and sit on the couch. He didn’t have that much of a luggage, but being completely new to this do-it-yourself world he ended up exhausted. “I want to move out” was all he could think about while living with his parents, of which you may know something about: King Adam and Queen Eve. He grew surrounded of people who was willing to do everything he told them just because, you know, he was Nagisa Kaworu. Cooking, sweeping out, keeping a constant schedule with meals and study time, buying groceries… He’d never had to do that before. How was he going to handle his new life as an independent and gorgeous prince who was new to the city?

Once he regained some energy, he made up his mind and sorting out his daily duties, Kaworu decided to go shopping first. He chose a brand new leather jacket, slipped an arm through the gap and grabbed the keys right before closing the door.

An hour went by before he admitted he was lost. He was caught by the flashing lights, the non-stop murmur of strangers and lost track of time and, well, space. Nowhere he looked at looked familiar, at least not anymore, and since he just moved there he didn’t know the bus routes. For God’s sake, he didn’t even go to the supermarket — not only that but he wasn’t able to find one. He did find, though, a list of ‘useful places’:

  • a bakery
  • a bookstore — this one was extremely important
  • a furniture store
  • an ice-cream parlour
  • a pet shop
  • a stationary store

Looking down the street where he thought his house was in, he began his journey back home. A few stops to pet some dogs later, Kaworu decided that this time, for good, he was going home after buying at least some coffee. Luckily, it wasn’t very hard to find a Starbucks in his neighbourhood and an extra iced, Trenta-sized caramel frappuccino would surely make his day better. And, why not, a chocolate muffin too. 

Lost in his mental image of his soon-to-be favourite muffin, a tender voice broke his thoughts and made Kaworu come back to the café.

"Good afternoon! I’d like to order… err… an extra iced caramel frappuccino in a Trenta cup, and a chocolate muffin."

The black haired boy who was in front of him was ordering the exact same thing he wanted to order. What was going on there?